Valentine's is always a special time. Every February, a wonderfully enigmatic air hangs in the atmosphere. From teddy bears to chocolates, cupid keychains to cheesecakes – fancy cafes and souvenir shops usually are all having a ball this time of year. For it is an affirmation of everlasting affection and a glorious saga of unfettered romantic expression. It's a joyful celebration for the couples, and a mundane horror for the singles, right? However, it is never that black and white when it comes to love and the different dimensions of expression that accompany it.
The fundamental critique of the over-romanticisation of Valentine's Day in the context of our generation doesn't stem from a place of being a boring buzzkill but rather from a point of social inquiry. With each passing year, romantic expressions lose their original grit and become a fluffy fest of merely latching onto some form of romantic humane connection. The larger conversation that can be derived from this is one about love and what it entails.
What is true love? And how do we know it is true? What are the parameters that we oftentimes incorporate into the process of seeking this true love? The discourse around the inherent intent of love begs the larger question of what after all is at the very core of “love”. Is it even a feeling anymore? Or has it evolved to be a larger entity, constantly extrapolating itself and manifesting in tangible ways within our societal fabric?
I fundamentally believe that at the very core of it, the intent of love is to establish a form of human connection that goes beyond the platonic pleasantries. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, love is defined as "a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another". Now when we dissect the intent behind love, the common denominator is consistent affection. It is obvious that an affection of such magnitude is bound to not appear out of thin air. It involves certain effort, intimacy and longevity to really emerge as distinguishable from fleeting forms of infatuation.
Our emotional well-being is in some ways, largely contingent upon loops of reassurance. Humans, being social creatures obviously do crave affection from one another to regulate the same. Gradually, we do end up reaching a stage of normalcy or the baseline of regular affection. Then, there comes a point where we start to crave something more personalized, more passionate and most importantly, more consistent. This is where the mainstream idea of love comes into play. Love indeed exists in many forms and is of course inclusive of but not limited to romantic affection. However, for the sake of ease of further articulation, I shall be referring to the romantic form(s) of love as just ‘love'.
I believe that people spend so much time and resources chasing the arbitrary idea of love and actively giving into capitalistic structures like dating applications etcetera that they forget the initial intention they started out with. This constant chase after these largely superficial avenues has been fueled by various media, services and even Artificial Intelligence (AI) technologies in the modern contemporary world. Love is no longer confined to just being a feeling but has rather become a commodity meant to be sold and resold. Plagued by the loneliness epidemic at its
prime, it has become extremely easy for powerful organizations to not only capitalize on the vulnerability of the general public but also set harmful socio-political precedents for the years to come. Moreover, from a sociological vantage point, it becomes our responsibility to really see which is the demographic that benefits from such forms of representation, and where are we leaving out a diverse range of our population.
Love, or rather the pursuit of love has never not been political. It is powerful enough to prompt individuals to transgress their own arbitrary boundaries of societal code. People in true love no longer seem to care about upholding redundant ideals that lead them to mere conformity. On the other hand, if we look at love from a different perspective, we get a whole nother deal of insight. By dubbing it as an active, tangible act, it can also be seen as an instrument for people to counter its dynamism, further sprouting seeds of bigotry and ostracizing one another. It can create further differences and lead to inciting dialogues that thrive off chaos to protect the flawed power dynamics in a society. Sadly, this seems to be the commonality at a global scale. We have to be hyper aware of the fact that love between individuals does not exist in a vacuum. It is very much shaped or informed periodically through their immediate socio-political environments. This relativity to the ideals or standards of the society then breeds possible oppression for the individuals, and even communities involved.
Love then, no longer just remains a comforting luxury but molds itself as an active act of resistance against the redundant norms and power structures. The validity in its transformation can be attributed to the fact that if we blindly accept and conform to whatever our immediate societal standards tell us to do, there would be no room for further philosophical inquiry or nuance. Ultimately, we'd just end up fostering harmful echo chambers that shall ultimately serve only a fraction of humankind.
Therefore, when we look at love and how instrumental it is to spark active dialogue on intersectionality and representation, we realize how powerful it has been in the political context as well. Laws have been framed around it because it does fundamentally hold the power to guide a society. Love births many lives, but takes away even more. So, it no longer remains a mere feeling worthy of occasional celebration but an intentional tool to address many discrepancies between societal preachings and actions. It becomes a means to deliberate upon one's privilege and gauge their social standing.
So, this V-Day, when you celebrate to mark the success of a blissful union with your partner, additionally cherish the strength and valor of the many lives lost to protecting their love. Even in the global political landscapes of today, many such battles continue to amplify people's plight to seek the freedom to love. So, it is only imperative that we acknowledge our privilege to simply love and don't take it for granted because. At last, a sense of comfort can still be sought in the fact that despite a multitude of strife and struggle, love is one constant that has always survived and prevailed because love always wins.
Picture Credits - https://unsplash.com/photos/pink-city-bicycle-onfwf-prdIY
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